I will never

Have a Thursday, December 18th 2008 again. It was good, but as it comes to a close I'm forced to wonder what else I could have done with this day. Who knows where else I could be in life if I hadn't made the choices I made or have done what I have up to this point. It seems as though all moments in my life have been perfectly orchestrated to take me to this point, only for this point to pass and be one of the millions of moments previously experienced in my life, propelling me toward some unknown end. Like a car hurtling down the highway at night, all I know is that i am going somewhere. Can't see much in front of me and the glow of brake lights illuminates my memories... Leaving old days in the past. So imperfect, typos and everything. Life happens. Sometimes it's foggy, sometimes I get tired and feel like I'll fall asleep at the wheel. I stop along the way to be re energized, to take a brake from life. As the road signs fly by and the moments pass by, I'm forced to sit, to ask why. To figure out what's going on and where I'm headed. Praying to God I can hold the path on the road I'm on and drive with those people who will keep me in that direction. And when it's all over, please make it sweet. Let me live and realize that the road I was on, although rough and not always easy, took me somewhere amazing. Let me end up with the sunlight kissing my cheeks. God, let me make it through the night. And as I keep driving down this road, gaining momentum and passing every moment faster, let me come to love the road I'm on, and love every second of it. Yeah. That's a night time ride. That's life.

This week in review.

Monday went to appointment in burgh and spent time with parentals. Had dinner at dino's with noah, Rachael, jon, Kent, mike Laick, the sauce, drew, nick and one other person.

Tuesday- Flew out of PA to chi midway, couldn't put my seat back cause someone was really tall behind me. From chi midway to den got stuck between two people and fell asleep. Arrived in den and got picked up in a vette, went to uncles office then dropped off the vette at the shop to replace windshield. Ate at A Noodle (good) and spent some time at office. Drove back to house with uncle and aunt and had dinner. Went to sleep early to wake up early the next morning.

Wed- woke up at 5 to climb a 14'er (Mt. Bierdstadt) with Jerod, Ryan, aunt, Pitzer family -Neil and Amy. Good times. Had lunch at the top. Amazing views and great weather. Went for ice cream with the boys and then played volleyball. Went back to house and watched Olympics.

Thurs- Played rock band with boys, had dental appoint. Took Morgan. Went to starbucks and subway for lunch. Changed oil. Went back to house with morg. Played ping pong, tramp, watched hs musical. More Olympics.

Friday- went to Colorado Mills and party shopping with aunt and Morgan. Headed to gunnison.

So.

I've been thinking about what we remember these days and realize that we remember what is out of the ordinary. Think about your big memories. They weren't your normal, everyday crap.

They were exciting. They were unique. They're fun. It scares me how much of my life I can't recall.

Really.

I think it's time I start having fun, making a memory everyday, and forgetting routine. It's easy to get into a rut with a course schedule, but I want to have fun. I want to make memories.

It also freaks me out what some people remember.

I should have been asleep for two hours...

But I'm not that lucky. At all. I slept for 15. Or 30. I'm not sure. It wasn't enough. I understand what the whole fight club thing was like...

You wake up in Pittsburgh. You wake up in Chicago Midway. You wake up in Denver.

Ahh hell. I just want to get on the plane and pass out.

Oh well. So uh, yeah, I'm just pretty tired.

G Love - "Ride"... Everything sounds better when you're dead tired.

I wake up in two hours.

It's good to realize that we are all one sentence away from being brought to tears, and the power of language.

What's your sentence?

The weather's fine

But it's raining in my soul.

It's cinderella time.

But we just keep getting farther and farther away (or further) from.....

Underneath your clothes.

There's a birthday suit

The days we try

Are the days we die.
There's no point to askin why oh why oh why (in a whiny emo tone).

I'm a love maker.

And a heart breaker.

From Russia with love

Yeah. There are a lot of Russians coming in and working for a year. It may be the next big trend. I can't complain.

I ran out on his money
I ran out on her love
At four in the morning I packed up my truck

It's been a while.

Just took a vacation. A nice, weekend long vacation to Stone Harbor, NJ. Read a few books, knocked out fight club and Rant. Both solid reads.
Saw this girl working in the coffee shop. SOOO fine. Oh well. Maybe I'll see her when I go back. All I know is that Dierks Bentley, Eric Church, and JM are essential road music.

"I believe that gas /
is too damn high /
and ain't nothin more american than momma's apple pie. /
I believe in love /
I believe in peace /
I don't believe we'll see it, in that middle east..."

"Fold me up, take me out, I'm portable..."

"Pair a boots and a sack of clothes /
Free and easy down the road I go"

What great lyrics to listen to while the miles slip on by. A few more hours and I'll be back around. At least for this week.

Villanova

is a great campus and a train ride away from Philly, which is also a great place. I've had a few great days here and they were a lot of fun.

It's good to just reset once in a while and do absolutely nothing at all. I'm on Itunes listening to some random guy's library on campus and it's pretty good actually. Today I travel to Jersey. I'll be back around next Tuesday.

Picked up the constitution and I'm halfway through Rant, which I suggest you purchase and or read soon. It's good. I figure I should read the basic ideas that founded this country, so the constitution is just a short read I've decided to do instead of playing brick breaker or blogging when I'm bored on my phone or have downtime.

I cut my finger with a razor blade today. What the hell.

Not much else is going on, just waiting to move to the next place I guess. Beach tonight, good times, I'm told.

But resetting, it's a beautiful thing. I think I am going to do it more often. And I think I am going to keep my phone off more often as well. I have been trying to use it less and less, and I'm realizing that people really don't need to reach me right now, so I might as well use that to my advantage while I can. I still check the e-mail about once a day just to keep it in check, but I have no idea where my phone is right now and it's a great feeling. I'm just killing time right now waiting for the parents.

I went to the rich section of Philly last night, Benz, BMW, Lambo, Ferrari, Porsche, Bentley... the place looked like a car show and the burgers were only 13. Hey, wtf, right? Haha we passed and instead went to "Pei Wei"... a place you will soon hear about and that I'm sure will invade the burgh in about a year and a half... Here are a few restaurants the burgh needs,

Pei wei,
California Pizza
Rotating sushi

I'm gone

People didn't used to write as much as we do today.

Putting everything in pen was a pain in the ass, so only the important was remembered. I need to keep that in mind.

We fight, we get beat, we ride and fight again.

- Nathaniel Greene

It takes a lifetime to develop a man who is driven enough to have a dream and change lives...

... It takes one idiot with a bullet to end it.

I need to read

Common sense by Thomas Paine

Teavana

Teavana

Predictably irrational

A book with this title was sitting on a bench randomly in the mall with no one around it. Was it a test?

Sharper image was having a firesale. Strange.

Apple store was as busy as ever. Despite stock sucking after great 3 q reports.

Kid just walked by speaking in a loud voice to dad "isn't that what you always tell me to do!? Speak the truth!?" And dad said "not..." And was out of ear shot.

I'm at king of prussia, btw.

It's only when you put yourself out there

And give everything that you have to give, revealing yourself and leaving nothing left hidden that you can finally begin to grow.

This has kind of been building for a while, but it's hard to relate through text and the internets.

Admitting that you're human. Admitting you have problems, we've all got them. One must humble themselves to the lowest level to know what it means and truly appreciate when they get to the top.

It's getting over the fear that once you show all of your cards and lay everything on the table there might not be anything else out there. Or the fear that the world will see you for who you are... Just like everyone else and "normal". But we've all got our issues. It's time to stop pretending and just start living. When someone says no say yes until the break. Or just die trying to reach the impossible goal. If anything, you'll achieve your goal. If not, you fail, but you may fail spectacularly enough to make the news. In the end we all die, so why waste your time saying no? Go do it. Whatever it is. And now.

"If not this year, you'll only be a year older when you do."
- Warren Miller

I am nothing and no one. I am starting over, clean slate, and opening my eyes and life to the world, ready to accept the good and the bad. Bring it on.

It's time people start to appreciate interactions with people. Enough of this treating people as they are nothing when they are serving you or checking you out. They are someone, and they we're born and will die just like you. Learn from them. Learn from everyone.

A lot of people I know care too much about relationships.

I don't care enough. I like to say I'm focused, but some days I'd like one. Other days, like tonight, the only thing I can figure out about them is that I don't want one.

Some things that don't go down like the movies:

Plane flights next to good looking people of the opposite sex and who happen to be heading to your general destination for the same period of time.
Actually, attractive people on planes. Everyone generally looks like shit.
Going with that: mile high club? Extinct.

Having hot neighbors that are your age. (If you have hot neighbors, talking to your hot neighbors.)

Riding an elevator with an attractive stranger that isn't awkward.

Riding an elevator with an attractive person.

Vacation romance. Summer romance. Romance in Rome.

A normal day.

15 minute time periods between classes in HS. In fact, all of highschool.

Oh yeah, college isn't too similar to the movies, either. Not if you want to pass.

Anything that actually happened but has a movie based on that event. Totally innaccurate.

Being a "normal" person.

-Goodnight.

"Music is just tilling the soil. That's all music is. Meditate on that!".

So.

I'm starting to realize that all too often in life that it has become dangerously predictable, and that even what I see as something seemingly random isn't really as random as it should be.

It's easy to fall into ruts in life, and we are creatures of habit so I can't expect much else. Life just needs to be more random and I need to experience new stuff. I'm going to work on that for a while.

Goodnight.

Yesterday.

My dog of 12 years had to be put to sleep. Rest in peace, Tubby, rest in peace. You were a great dog to grow up with. :-)

Always in my mind and the best first dog a kid could ask for.

And that's the Problem.

No one would live their lives the way they do if they didn't believe that it was the best way to live their life.

Oh everyone believes. And I realize I do too. And the older I get (Being a day or two older) I realize that I should just find people who share my beliefs, yet are who are open enough to accept others' beliefs when they are better. No?

Oh forget it. Just stay strong and don't let life beat that spark out of you.

For everything that I have ever successfully achieved

I've failed at least 100 times at other things.

Cheating.

"Do you ever feel like you've been cheated?"
-Johnny Rotten.

Sometimes I question what's going on here. Things have come together almost too perfectly that I have question, now more than ever, ever move that I am about to make.

I realize this is life, I realize I only get one shot at 19 and one shot at college. And I realize the lifestyle I lead probably makes me miss out on a lot of stuff that makes up the college "experience". But the truth is, I don't want that. I don't think I'll look back on these years like there was a huge part missing.

I guess sometimes I feel like I am a snowball gaining momentum. (Follow me for a minute.) I had a hell of a start and a solid foundation, and as I grew older that ball just kept growing, and now it's getting bigger faster than ever, and only looking to hold that trend. When I look around I just feel like the perfect storm is brewing around my life to set me up to do something great. What? Who knows. I know I'm being self centered here and I hate that more than anything, but things have worked out so nicely that I can only hope they stay this way and I keep growing mentally, physically, and in my relationships.

So why would I try something that could screw all that up now, when I am growing and functioning perfectly without it already? It's just those negative things I see that don't make sense to me. I love the life I have and don't need to try anything else, and I realize that's a blessing.

But in all things these days -- athletics, classes, relaxing -- it seems as though everyone is just trying to cheat. Whether it's steroids or copying or drug usage to feel better, it just seems as though people rely too much on cheating to get by. It seems as though cheating, lying, and stealing have all become social norms and the bar that is set just keeps eroding as each year passes.

Hey, maybe I'm the fool for not going with the crowd on this one. We only live once, so why not use every resource possible to make it as fun as possible. But I only live once, and if there is any chance that I could mess up the life that I have built up to this point, I tend to stay away. It kills me to see people go most of their lives (longer than most others) living on one extreme only to "realize" that they "haven't been livin', man".

But, these things that I see as potentially harmful to my future, most of society sees as nothing more than a norm. Somewhere in the pocket between this norm and social outcast is where I want to be. Maintaining my values without alienating myself. Although alienation doesn't hurt sometimes. Putting oneself in new positions sparks creativity and breaks up monotony and, the worst of all, group think (the reason for my travels).

It's been too perfect a life to go and fuck up now, and if you look at your own I'm sure it's not bad relative to the rest of the world. And if it is than there are plenty of ways to make it better, starting by stopping cheating in your life. It's a more difficult road, and I can't be sure if the payoff is greater or not, but I'll let you know on the flip side... Or in 30 years.

This life is yours to make your own. You better start working on it now though.

I like where I'm headed and, barring all freak accidents, I intend to hold that course. Although I realize I am not the social norm, I know that I am not alone, because things have worked out too perfectly. Not saying it's been easy. Not at all. It's been a bitch at times. But God's been there, and will be there, until the end.

If you got to the end of this and think I'm a cocky asshat, you're missing the point. Go home and rethink your life. If it has made you think about your own life, I challenge you not to cheat by taking the easy route by calling me an asshole for writing this, but rather to examine what you are doing and if you are living your life correctly. On average, people who read this are 1/5 to 1/4 done with their life. Are you living it right?

I'm not saying I am, but I'm doing the best I can, and that's all anyone can do. But don't cheat and lower your standards of best. Don't cut yourself short. We need to evolve as humans, and if we cheat we will get nowhere. Make a contribution to humanity. Push yourself.

I am who I am. Take or leave me, accept me or turn me away, I have chosen to be this man by my own free will.

I'm signing off. Goodnight.

Click the Picture!

This was meant to be my profile picture, but hey, it didn't look good on facebook. So here. Click it to see a larger image and entertain yourself for a while.

I enjoy 3 to 8 lane highways.

They break up the monotony of the 2 laners.

The point of this blog.

Is to keep you up on my life happenings. Haha really.
No. It's for me to remember what I've done in my life and relate some good times and funny stories in the process. So here we go.

A true story, told from the perspective of the person who told it to me.

"An interesting story about an entertaining series of events:

It started last week when a friend was asked to watch a neighbor's dog in New York City while the neighbor went to Europe. While the neighbor was away, the dog died. The neighbor knew the dog had been sick for a while and asked my friend to take the dog to the vet so that it could be cremated and she would pay the bill when she returned. Not knowing what to do, my friend put the dog in a bag and put the bag in a suitcase. She got on the subway and headed toward the vet's office only to get off the subway and end up at the bottom of a long set of stairs. A nice man, seeing that my friend was having trouble getting up the steps with the suitcase, came over and offered assistance. He asked her what was inside, and, not wanting to look weird, my friend told the man computer parts. The man took off with her suitcase. And that's the last that my friend saw of her suitcase and her neighbor's dog"

-Enjoy, I'm signing off.